Forever 21

In light of the fact that Forever 21 has just declared bankruptcy, here’s the poem I wrote inspired by the store. It’s part of my fourth collection Shopping Cart Dreams published by Kelsay Books.

All the dresses
in the store look
made for people who
never have to worry
if they’ll fit.

To be twenty-one again,
with firm body
and all parts working
and the world
in front of me,
to feel the power
and daily glow of lust.

But there’s a catch
to freezing time.
No longer is it
merely a moment
to forget or recall,
but a vise
that holds me fast
in eternal replay,

like that time I got wasted
and tried making love
with a girl I had finally
wooed into bed
but missed
my connection
and I had to go on
missing it
in perpetuity,

like the look on
my father’s face
when he picked me
up at the airport
and I had to keep
on viewing it
as if in a museum
like some portrait
of failure,

like the long train ride
for my physical
when I almost got drafted
to fight in a hopeless war
in a distant jungle
and my pulse rate
remained at 140
for hours until
the doctors finally
sent me home
but instead of going home
I had to sit there
dwelling on what
might have been
as my heart beats
double time forever.

First published in Hawaii Pacific Review.